Natural Treatment for Severe Childhood Eczema

When my daughter Jasmine was 18 months old, eczema covered half of her little body.  Doctors had told me that it was a benign childhood condition, but she scratched sometimes until blood and tissue were under her fingernails. At night she couldn't sleep unless she was 'sedated' with Benadryl and Tylenol.

An allergist had told us her condition was not caused by food or environmental factors.   I was beside myself with frustration and deep, deep sadness that my baby was so miserable and I was powerless to help her.

Her eczema had begun at just 6 weeks old with red spots on her cheeks.  By 3 months old, she had oozing red patches bigger than the palm of her hand.  She was given antibiotics and a huge assortment of prescription creams.  Absolutely no medical intervention helped.

We sought help from a naturopathic doctor (Dr. Peter Klassen in Waterloo) who ordered an IgG test which examines food sensitivities for over 100 different foods using only 3 tiny drops of blood. While we waited for the results he put both me and Jasmine on a G-I cleanse: no red meat, no dairy, no acids or citrus.

 The IgG test results revealed that Jasmine had an extreme sensitivity to eggs and a high sensitivity to dairy, gluten, soy, peanuts, sesame and citrus. Immediately those foods were eliminated from her diet and mine, along with preservatives, yeast and sugar. It was essential that I follow the restricted diet strictly, since at that time Jasmine was still nursing up to 20 times/ day. She began a regimen of homeopathic treatments and other supplements including vitamins C and D, calcium/magnesium, acidophilus, fish oil and flax oil.

Within a month Jasmine's eczema was completely gone. GONE. She began to eat and eat and eat and to nurse less. She slept through the night. I recovered my sanity. I fell in love with Dr. Peter....no, no, no, not really. But I sure was impressed!

Now Jasmine is 4 years old.  We control her eczema by avoiding most of the foods that trigger the bright red popcorn-looking spots that erupt behind her knees, on her ankles, inside her elbows and sometimes on her cheek bones that itch like crazy.

To take away the itch I apply Melaleuca, commonly called Tea Tree Oil.  But not all tea tree oil is created equal!  I once purchased a bottle of tea tree oil at a health food store that was so strong I could only use it in the laundry because just the scent of it stung my eyes.

Melaleuca as a Certified Pure Therapeutic Grade Essential Oil is the perfect topical treatment for the horrible burning and itching of eczema.  When I apply it directly to Jasmine's skin it is instantly soothed and moisturized and she doesn't scratch at all.  The MDs all told me to put cortisone cream on her, but knowing the harmful side effects made me seek a safe alternative.

If your child has eczema, I strongly recommend getting an IgG test.  I paid $220 for it and it has been worth every dime.  If you learn how to control your child's eczema through diet, then when an outbreak occurs, you can treat it with Melaleuca Essential Oil to take away the itch.

Jasmine, age 3.5 years, virtually eczema-free

I'm not a doctor, just a mom who's been through the frustration of childhood eczema.  If you have any questions, please contact me.

What I Did Wednesday

I brought my friend Julie over to take some FABULOUS pictures of my kids.


Julian, age 13.5 months




Anna, age 7 years




Jasmine, age 3.5 years



The Sisters



Holly, age 5.5 years



Jasmine's Birth, My Rebirth

Welcome to the First Carnival of Birth Reflections

This post was written for inclusion in the Carnival of Birth Reflections hosted by Patti at Jazzy Mama and Zoie at TouchstoneZ. Participants are writing posts that reflect on how birth has transformed them into who they are today. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

***

My daughter Anna was born naturally, in hospital, attended by two midwives on April 30, 2004.

My daughter Holly was born naturally, in hospital following an abandoned homebirth, attended by a midwife and an OB on December 31, 2005.

My daughter Jasmine was born naturally, at home, attended by two midwives on January 8, 2008.

Her birth changed who I am.

Labour and Birth



I was 4 days past my due date when I started to feel pressure in my lower back and pelvis.  Around 5pm I phoned my mother to come to be with my older daughters (ages 3.5 years and 2 years), in case a transfer to hospital was necessary. 



Jasmine emerges into my midwife's hands.



Partner-Guy's hand on the midwife's hand on my hand on a very purple Jasmine.

At 7pm I called my midwife to let her know that my labour was beginning.  She came over immediately (she lives just 1 mile away).  After sitting with me through a few contractions she told me that I wasn't in hard labour yet.  She went back home and told me call her again when my contractions lasted for at least 60 seconds.  At that moment, I assumed control of my labour and birth.

I laid down with my 2-year-old daughter Holly and she went right to sleep.  Then I put on my shoes and coat and went out for a walk.  It was a surprisingly mild evening, considering it was early January!  After 30 minutes I came back to put my 3 1/2 -year-old daughter Anna to bed.  Then Partner-Guy and I walked around the block until 9pm.  I was totally in sync--body, mind and spirit.  I knew I needed to rest and focus because there was hard work ahead.

I was extremely uncomfortable with my parents being in my home while I laboured, but I tried to push those feelings out of my mind.  I went to my bedroom and sat on a big exercise ball as my contractions increased in duration and intensity.  At 10pm Partner-Guy phoned the midwife and asked her to return.  He also called my friend Julie who had agreed to photograph the birth.

On her first examination, the midwife determined that I was at 6cm.  I felt GREAT knowing that I was progressing so well.  I pictured myself climbing a mountain, gazing at the summit and continuing to put one foot in front of the other.  The pain in my lower back was considerable and I knew that the baby's head was pressing on my spine.  I stood and swayed my hips like a belly dancer for the next hour, resting my head on Partner-Guy's shoulder between contractions.

At 11:15pm I sat on the edge of the bed and rested.  I closed my eyes and breathed deeply.  I stopped moaning and sighing and was silent.  I pictured my baby emerging from my body.

Joy!  A girl!

Then I stood up and announced that I was ready to push.  The midwives sprang into action (although somehow no one got around to putting the plastic sheet on my bed).  I laughed at them and reclined on the bed as a wave of energy rushed down my body from head to toe.  I felt like I was seeing the birth from the ceiling.  I pushed and the baby's head emerged at the same moment as my water broke, splashing the entire room and everyone present.  I pushed and the rest of the baby emerged into my midwife's hands.

No crying.

Jasmine was born asleep.  She was quite purple but breathing and strong.  Quickly someone covered her with a blanket and put a hat on her head.  I began to laugh.  Minor chaos ensued as everyone tried to figure out what to do about the wet bedding and mattress.  I just held my sleeping baby and enjoyed all the wonderful hormones of ecstacy.  Wow, what a high!




Jasmine, asleep for 45 minutes after her birth.

 I required a few stitches but I was in such an altered state that I don't even remember my midwife doing it.  I talked to Jasmine and told her her name.  Jasmine, for her dad, James.  Taylor, for Taylor Creek Park, where he and I had our first date.  Meinje, for my mother's mother, who was also born on January 8.  Jasmine Taylor Meinje.

About 45 minutes after her birth, Jasmine opened her eyes for the first time.  I nursed her and around that time Anna and Holly (who had awakened when the midwives arrived) wanted to come in.  They ignored the baby and laid down on the bed to go to sleep.



Still sleeping and not ready to nurse.

 After midnight, the midwife weighed, measured and examined the baby.  She was perfect.

The midwives went home, my parents went home, my photographer went home.  I laid down beside my three daughters on my bed and went to sleep.  I was forever changed.


She opens her eyes for the first time!



I Have the Power

I didn't know about The Secret and The Law of Attraction when Jasmine was born.  But in hindsight, I was using The Secret to have a successful birth.

For the birth of my second daughter, I had planned a homebirth, but I could not picture it.  I couldn't imagine what position I would birth in.  I couldn't imagine what would be on my bed.  I couldn't imagine where the midwife would stand or where Partner-Guy would stand.  I couldn't imagine where the mess would go.  I couldn't imagine where the midwife would put her equipment.



Nursing for the first time.



I couldn't picture the birth because I was totally focussed on the room and everyone in it.  I had completely forgotten to picture myself giving birth.  Crazy, eh?  I had no confidence in myself and my own body, but I had felt pretty confident that my midwife would handle the birth.  Then, when an alternate midwife answered my call that night, I was shattered.  My planned homebirth was thrown out the window, I called an ambulance in a panic and my 2nd daughter was born just 5 minutes after arriving at the hospital.

So with my 3rd birth, I took control.  I knew what I wanted, I pictured it, I willed it to happen.  Then I surrendered to my body and I let it happen.  I surrendered to the power and The Power became me.

I'm not a hocus-pocus kind of girl.  I'm sensible and honest and smart.  But I have to say that Jasmine's birth transformed me into a person who believes in my own power to transform any aspect of my life. 

I used to be so, so so negative.  I believed that life was just meant to be hard for me.  I believed that no matter what I did, it would turn out to be the wrong thing.  I believed that I didn't deserve to have good things happen to me.

It was something about Jasmine's birth that made me decide that I had to take control of my own destiny, create my own joy and find my own power.  And I did it.

I didn't discover The Secret until this year, but I've been doing it for the last 3 1/2 years and I can say that it works.  I have opened my life to love, happiness and circumstances that I would never have imagined were possible before Jasmine's birth transformed me into a woman who can change her own life. 

In fact, all of you, my dear friends and followers, have joined my life through my desire for a community of mindful mothers.  Much love to each of you who has touched my heart and let me into your life via your computer screen. 

We all have the power to create whatever we want and I offer to you my desire that all your dreams come true.

Have you tapped into your Power yet?

A happy daddy!

***





Visit Jazzy MamaTouchstoneZ to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Birth Reflections!




Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

• In the Middle - A Progression Through Four Birth Experiences Amy at Peace 4 Parents shares her birth experiences and the central focus that holds them together.
• A Birth Story-The Post Where I Finally Let Go Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama finally frees herself of all of the negativity she held onto regarding the way in which her daughter came earthside.
• From Hospital to Home Birth Kerry at City Kids Homeschooling explains how it took three pregnancies to realize that birth is a natural, empowering life event to be celebrated at home.
• Preparing for Joyful Birth-Making Peace with my Soul Shana at Tales of Minor Interest prepares to birth her second child with joy after a traumatic first birth experience.
• Reflections Rosemary at Rosmarinus Officinalis reflects on the planned cesarean birth of her breech daughter.
• The Top Five Utterances of my HBAC Leah @ Zen and the Art of Cloth Diaper Maintenance comments on how an HBAC brings many new expierences and phrases.
• Labor Phases: Latent, Sleep, Transitional, Hell CatholicMommy shares the surprises of her birth story.
• The Birth of My first Child - Our Miracle Baby Darcel @ The Mahogany Way Birth Cafe shares her story of the traumatic birth of her first child. Darcel still feels guilt over the birth and is looking for ways to heal.
• My Thoughts on Birth: 10 Months Later Adrienne at Mommying My Way compares how she feels about her son's birth now that he's ten months old with how she felt right after he was born, and how that impacts how she relates to other new moms.
• Jasmine's Birth, My Rebirth Patti at Jazzy Mama discovered that the birth of her third daughter would change her entire view of her Life.
• Birth Reflection: It Only Takes A Second Zoie at TouchstoneZ reflects on her third homebirth-the birth of her second living child

Summer Milestones

We spent the middle two weeks of July at my father's home in Waterloo, Ontario while he travelled to the province of Newfoundland.  What great adventures we had in Waterloo!  No one wanted to come home and the girls wished that Opa would stay away for another week.

African Lion Safari and Julian's Milestone

My mother took us all on safari!  The weather was fabulous and we stayed all day.

Anna (7 yrs), Holly (5.5 yrs) and Jasmine (3.5yrs) with their favourite animals.

Julian hits a milestone:  his first pony ride!

Julian was quite dapper in his safari shirt!

 Jazzy's Milestone

Jasmine (3.5 yrs) is phenomenally coordinated.  Not only is she an excellent swimmer, but this kid can handle a bicycle like a pro!  We'll be taking off the training wheels by the end of the summer, I imagine.

She can turn corners and go up and down curbs with no difficulty.

 Anna's Milestone

Anna (7 yrs) REALLY wanted to come down the big slide at the public pool we visited, but first she had to pass a swimming test.  Well, she's NEVER participated in any type of assessment before, and I was so nervous for her!  But she passed the test NO PROBLEM (half front crawl, half doggy-paddle).  And she loved the slide!

After she came down the slide, she swam to the edge of the pool so fast that we all laughed and asked her if she thought an alligator was chasing her!

Holly's Milestone
Poor Holly.  She felt pretty left out when we all were so excited for Anna's accomplishment.  But, lucky for her, she had just achieved the required weight to move from a 5-point harness in the car to a booster seat.  YAY HOLLY!  (But sorry, kid.  I didn't take a picture.)

The Joy of Jasmine

My daughter Jasmine is a sort of magical child.  I've always thought of her as my Angel Baby because she came to us after a miscarriage.  The night she was born was absolutely glorious--like climbing a mountain and finding a pot of gold at the top.  I swear the heavens sang when she was born.  And she didn't cry--she opened her eyes to look at me and then went to sleep.  She awoke to nurse about an hour after her birth.

When Jasmine was a baby I moved from thinking of myself as a stay-at-home-mommy to focusing on being a Professional Mother.  Not a career woman who was also a mother, but a woman whose career was to be a mother.  Jasmine inspired me to be more than I had been.

She still does.

One of the remarkable things about Jasmine is her ability to entertain herself wherever she is.  In January we endured a long wait at a doctor's office and to pass the time Jasmine played for 45 minutes with 2 quarters.  She pretended that they were a mommy and a baby and they were taking a trip up and down the arms and legs of the chairs in the waiting room.  Not a word of complaint from her.  And while I talked to the doctor she played her own little game of hopscotch using the tiles on the floor.  She was happy, authentic, uninhibited.

She also loves to play that she is the mommy and I am the child.  She brings me pretend popsicles and admonishes me about not eating too much junk food.  She takes me outside to play and wants to zipper my coat to make sure I am not cold.  She takes my hand and stops me from crossing the street until she looks for cars.

Another spontaneous game she likes to play is 'Animal Rescuer'.  She comes running up to me outside, "Mom!  Mom!  There's a baby frog that got lost.  We've GOT to save him, Mom!  Come on!"  She's irresistible. 

I haven't really engaged in very much fantasy-play with my daughters until I began to follow Jasmine's lead in the last few months.  It is so easy to play with her and to experience her joy.  I think I want her to be a three-year-old forever.

It's such a cliche to talk about seeing the world through the eyes of a child.  I don't even think that an adult as jaded as I am could ever remotely experience the wonder and innocence of a child except by being led by a child who trusts and loves and engages life the way my 3-year-old Jasmine does.

It's good to have times of falling in love with your child all over again. 

I'm having a Renaissance with Jasmine.  She's amazing.
******************************************************************************
Post Script:  After I finished writing this, I noticed a post from Dionna at Code Name: Mama about how she is struggling to enjoy her son who is 3-years-old and is not his usual joyful self.  I guarantee her Renaissance with her son is just around the corner.

Shoulda Stayed in Bed

Jasmine's birthday is on Saturday and she wanted to go to an indoor playground so we went today when I knew it wouldn't be busy. I invited her little friend to come along (a little benefit for me, since I got to visit with a mommy-friend too) and we all had a great time.

Until it was time to leave.

I had been letting the kids know that they should do their favourite activities one more time because it was soon time to go. The all-important time to go was dictated by the bus schedule. And since it was a cold day I didn't want to risk missing a scheduled bus and then have to stand outside in the cold for 25 minutes waiting for the next one.

Well, they did their activities and then everyone wanted a snack so we decided to eat before heading out to catch the next bus. By the time the snacks were done, Holly and Julian were really ready to leave. Holly was hot and tired and had been asking to leave for half an hour already. Julian never nurses well in public and he was both tired and hungry. But Jasmine didn't want to leave.

I accommodated her. She went to the slides while I changed Julian's diaper. She went to the slides again while I got Anna and Holly into boots and coats. She went to the slides again while I put Julian in his snowsuit and then handed him to my friend. Still she would not leave.

I didn't know what to do. If I stayed longer Holly was going to meltdown and Julian was going to start screaming. If I made Jasmine leave she was going to freak out. Desperately, I tried to remember everything I had read and learned about Authentic Parenting, empathy and non-violent communication. I tried to fill my heart with love and patience. I spoke calmly and tried to connect with the children. And then I made my decision.

"Jasmine. We're leaving. Now."

Oh, poor Jazzy. I wrestled her fighting little body into her boots and coat, grabbed Julian from my friend and fled out the door with Jasmine by the hand.

It was terrible. I did not feel like I had 'won'. I did not feel victorious. I did not feel like I had asserted my parenting skills at all. I didn't feel like even had any parenting skills. I felt like a total failure. I wanted to run and hide. I was totally mortified and humiliated--not by HER behaviour, but by MINE.

What a failure. Jasmine cried all the way to the bus stop (although I'd like to add that I did not drag her down the sidewalk. She walked willingly.). She cried while sitting on my lap as we waited a few minutes for the bus. She didn't cry on the bus but she resumed crying when we got off the bus and walked the 2 blocks home. She cried while I took off her coat and while I fed Julian. And then all of a sudden she stopped crying and said "I want a drink of soy milk". Crisis over. For her.

I spent the rest of the day hugging her and apologizing. When Partner-Guy came home she told him where we had been. He asked, "Did you have fun?" and she replied, "Yeah. Den I cry. A yot." And then I cried. A lot.

I've said here before that I have rarely cried over my children but today I did. I was such a failure. An impostor. A hypocrite. A mainstreamer.

I overpowered a toddler.

Never again.

Never.

Treatment for Severe Childhood Eczema (My Daughter Jasmine)

This is our Jasmine.

When Jasmine was just 6 weeks old little red spots began to appear on her cheeks. By three months old she had oozing red areas bigger than the palms of her hands on each cheek. She was misdiagnosed by two different doctors at Sunnybrook as having impetigo and when I disagreed with the diagnosis I was yelled by a nurse: "If you don't give her antibiotics she could die!"

At 5 months old I took her to a paediatrician. Multiple creams were prescribed and finally I agreed to give her antibiotics. There was no improvement. The paediatrician was mean, rude and useless but at 16 months she eventually referred me to an allergist. A scratch test for the 8 major allergens turned up completely negative and the allergist told me to start feeding her everything. The next day I offered her some yogurt. She spat it out and wiped her mouth with her hands. Within minutes her lips and fingers began to swell up like popcorn. So much for the allergist.

At 18 months I felt that Jasmine's skin had reached a crisis point. Bright red patches of eczema covered more than half her body and she scratched sometimes until blood and tissue were under her fingernails. At night she couldn't sleep unless she was 'sedated' with Benadryl and Tylenol. I was beside myself with frustration and deep, deep sadness that my baby was so miserable and I was powerless to help her.

At that point we found Dr. Peter Klassen, a naturopath in Waterloo who had treated my sister's eldest son for eczema and allergies when he was a baby. Dr. Peter ordered an IgG test which examines food sensitivities for over 100 different foods using only 3 tiny drops of blood. While we waited for the results he put both me and Jasmine on a G-I cleanse: no red meat, no dairy, no acids or citrus. The IgG test results revealed that Jasmine had an extreme sensitivity to eggs and a high sensitivity to dairy, gluten, soy, peanuts, sesame and citrus. Immediately those foods were eliminated from her diet and mine, along with preservatives, yeast and sugar. It was essential that I follow the restricted diet strictly, since at that time Jasmine was still nursing up to 20 times/ day. She began a regimen of homeopathic treatments and other supplements including vitamins C and D, calcium/magnesium, acidophilus, fish oil and flax oil.

Within a month Jasmine's eczema was completely gone. GONE. She began to eat and eat and eat and to nurse less. She slept through the night. I recovered my sanity. I fell in love with Dr. Peter....no, no, no, not really. But I sure was impressed!

That was almost a year ago. I have continued to bring Jasmine to Waterloo to see Dr. Peter every 6-8 weeks, and he successfully treated me for severe nausea during my pregnancy too. Over the winter and in the spring I began to introduce soy and wheat back into her diet. She had no negative reaction so I gradually increased the amounts. By June her eczema had returned and I returned her to the restricted diet. I contacted Dr. Peter numerous times in June and July and finally in August we went to see him again (with little Julian along for the ride). He recommended that I restrict my diet again since Jasmine is still nursing 2-3 times/day and he changed her supplements. This time she didn't improve.

At the beginning of this month I spoke to Dr. Peter on the phone and he suggested that he had perhaps exhausted the treatments he could recommend. I choked down a sob as tears filled my eyes. Great, I thought, back to square one. But he had another treatment in mind that he couldn't offer at his office. It's called bioenergetic intolerance elimination. I looked online and found a place that offers the treatment and it's located just 10 minutes from our home.

From the website of D'Avignon Digestive Health Center:

BIE works by “clearing” the energetic pathways of the body. These
bioenergetic pathways, or meridians, whose existence has been confirmed through
electro-magnetic imaging technology, allow energetic signals to flow
continuously throughout the body via the nervous system. Any number of factors
can cause a disruption in the normal (healthy) flow of energy through the body’s
meridians. These disruptions interfere with the communication between the brain
and body, causing energetic abnormalities which can underlie a wide range of
symptoms and conditions, including allergies, sensitivities and
intolerances.
During the procedure, the client is exposed to the allergenic
substance (which is held in a glass vial), while a hand-held device is used to
transmit a low electronic frequency at various meridian sites on the body. As
the electronic frequency clears blocked meridians, the body’s cells interpret
the allergen’s energetic frequency as “non-threatening”, resulting in the
elimination of adverse reactions to the cleared allergen.

 We've attended two sessions so far. Jasmine has been SO cooperative and willing to participate in the treatments. The holistic allergist--we call her Dr. Jane although she is not a doctor--first treated Jasmine for any sensitivities in the foods she is currently eating a lot of: rice, vegetables, chicken. At the next appointment she worked on soy and gluten.

The eczema is not getting any worse and I am not going to start introducing new foods into Jasmine's diet until we've completed at least 4 treatments.  But I am confident that the treatments will be successful and that I won't have to keep Jasmine's diet so restricted for the long term. I am especially looking forward to being able to eat a greater variety of foods too!

I'd really like to know why all these alternative diagnostic tools and holistic treatments are not available through the Health Care System. Clearly the allergist we saw when Jasmine was 18 months old was WRONG, but why couldn't he have recommended the IgG test? And what about the people who can't afford any treatment from a practitioner who isn't an MD? I sure would like to hear the answer from someone like Dalton McGuinty. If his daughter had suffered the way Jasmine had suffered, wouldn't he have spent any amount of money to help her?

So far we estimate that Jasmine's treatment has cost almost $2000, including the cost of travel to Waterloo, visits with Dr. Peter, diagnostic tests, supplements, vitamins, special foods and the BIE treatments. It is money well spent. If it had cost $10,000 we would have still been happy to spend the money. The FREE health care available offered us absolutely nothing in terms of a solution.

We are forever grateful to Dr. Peter for the help he has given us and we highly recommend his services. He has incredible knowledge and his approach is kind and gentle. Just the fact that he would recommend the BIE  treatment for Jasmine is proof of his integrity and his dedication to the well-being of his patients. Although visiting his office is not at all convenient for us, we are committed to seeking his help to enable us to improve and maintain the health of all 6 of us.

It's been a while....

Well, I haven't been blogging. Not that I haven't been thinking about it on a very regular basis. I would like to give an update on what our homeschooling/unschooling program looks like this year, but first I feel I owe my readers an explanation about my absence from the keyboard. There are two reasons.

FIRST

Jasmine's eczema reached what I have called a 'crisis' during July. Back in May I had taken her to the paediatrician to ask for help, as Jasmine was scratching for 1-2 hours every day. That doctor (who is revered in Partner-Guy's family, but who failed to charm me) told me that Jasmine has "high-maintenance skin", and that the cure was to "moisturize, moisturize, moisturize". This was her assessment without even examining Jasmine's skin. I insisted on a referal to an allergist, which she reluctantly provided, as she insisted that Jasmine does not have allergies.

In June we saw an allergist who performed a scratch-test on Jasmine's skin. The eight most common allergens (soy, eggs, cow's milk, seafood, wheat, corn, citrus and peanuts) were ruled out as causing Jasmine's eczema and itchiness. The allergist offered no other investigation into her condition and suggested that I see a dermatologist. Because of the test results coming back negative, I began to feed Jasmine every food I had previously withheld, believing that food was not causing her symptoms.

By mid-July it was clear that something had to be done. Jasmine began to scratch throughout the day and night for up to 3 hours at a time. Her skin on her ankles, knees and wrists began to look like ground meat. She would have skin and blood under her finger nails and still she would keep tearing at her skin. We could not go on this way. During the night I would have to give her to Partner-Guy to take to the living room so that I could just spend 10 minutes alone to breathe deeply, calm down, and then resume trying to comfort and soothe her back to sleep.

Finally, as a last resort, I reached out to the naturopath who my sister had taken her oldest son to when he had eczema and allergies as a baby and toddler: Dr. Peter Klassen in Waterloo.

Dr. Peter listened to my description of every detail of Jasmine's life: my pregnancy, her birth, my diet, her sleep patterns, her physical development, her diet. He immediately put us both on a restricted diet to control the growth of candida: no dairy products, no sugar, no yeast, no citrus, no mushrooms, no red meat. And he ordered a blood test (called an IgG test) that would measure Jasmine's reaction to over 100 common foods. Within two weeks of starting the restricted diet Jasmine was scratching approximately 50% less, and her skin was beginning to heal. I was delighted. Dr. Peter also put her on several supplements to reduce her itchiness and help heal her skin.

It took 4 weeks to get the results of the IgG test (which I paid $240 for). The results showed significant reactions to cow's milk, citrus, soy and gluten. But the most severe reaction was to eggs. Wow. So Jasmine and I are now on an even more restricted diet, to which I adhere completely. I have found some recipes for bread and muffins that don't taste like dirt, and we are learning how to enjoy chicken or turkey every night of the week. I think I've lost over 5 pounds already, and Jasmine is eating more food than ever before. In fact, 2 months ago she was nursing 12 times/day, and now she is nursing only 6 or 8 times/day. This is a very significant change, and she are I are both feeling healthier and more energetic.

Anyway, managing Jasmine's health and finding new foods to enjoy has been like a full-time job for the last month. In fact, I told Dr. Peter that there was no way I would have been able to adhere to the strict diet while working outside the home 5 days/week. I feel really grateful that I can be home with my children and able to give my entire attention to their well-being. And I feel such a huge sense of relief that Jasmine is getting better and that I have found a doctor who can heal her and build her health so that she can grow up free from eczema.

SECOND

I have begun a course of study called Non-Violent Communication. I love it. I can hardly put down the book and the study guide and make myself go to bed at night. I read each chapter and then I read it again and underline the parts that speak to me the most and then I read it again and follow the study guide.

I am already applying the principals of non-violent communication in my interactions with my daughters, and I can see the difference it is making. I feel different. I feel a deeper connection with my daughters, and I am awakening a deeper awareness of my thought patterns, my habits, my feelings and my needs.

Of great significance is my awakening awareness of my needs and values. I had never really thought about how my unmet needs were the source of unhappiness, and how I had the power to get my needs met. In fact, I didn't even have a clear understanding of my own needs. I have now been able to isolate 5 specific needs that, when met, bring out my greatest authenticity. They are beauty, order, peace, harmony and balance. More on that another day.

So I have been busy. I am completing this course for my own benefit and because I genuinely desire a more authentic relationship with my children, my partner, and my family of origin. But I would also like to facilitate workshops on non-violent communication, in addition to leading seminars on breastfeeding and on authentic parenting.

I look forward to writing more about my studies, providing updates on Jasmine's health, and detailing our unschooled lives. We have much to celebrate.

Control

I took Jasmine with me this morning when I went to run in Taylor Creek Park. I am trying to run 4km everyday, and I always give Jasmine the option of coming with me in the stroller or staying home with her Daddy and sisters. Invariably, she chooses to come along, and she is pretty content to sit in the stroller for 25-or-so minutes, usually clutching a dolly or a piece of toast.

I drove over to the parking lot where the trail begins, and immediately saw a school bus parked at the entrance. Sure enough, there were around 40 kids in burgundy t-shirts milling about restlessly as a fat, red-faced woman about my age attempted to organize the children and 3 or 4 other adults. I shook my head, rolled my eyes, and strapped Jasmine quickly into the stroller, hoping to get ahead of the group.

Amazingly, the daycare group was ready to walk before Jasmine and I were ready to run, and I ended up catching them just as they reached the duck pond where some water had spilled out over the path and created a muddy area.

"Get away from there!" the daycare leader screeched. "We aren't stopping here. Stay out of the mud. Don't get your feet wet. Keep moving!"

So apparently the duck pond was off-limits.

I couldn't help thinking, as I ran along, how different the Monday-to-Friday lives of those 30 or 40 children were from my 3 girls. The kids ranged in age from about 5 to 10 years, and not one of them showed any signs of joy or enthusiasm. They walked, no, trudged along like a chain gang. Only 5 minutes into their valley-adventure they were already bored and disinterested, tired and restless.

And I thought about how the adults in charge may have thought they were doing something special for the children by getting them out of the daycare and out into nature, but it was pretty clear that the event itself was more important than the children and their needs or desires. Any interest or curiosity in the duck pond was squashed in favour of the greater good: getting to wherever they were going. And I noticed that only two of the adults and none of the children were carrying backpacks, which lead me to think that either someone was meeting them further along the trail to provide refreshments, or else this was to be a relatively short trip. No one was even carrying a water bottle and many of the children didn't even have hats, although, without exception, every child was wearing a much-too-big t-shirt in a bold shade of burgundy, presumably to make them easily identifiable to the accompanying adults, who might not otherwise recognize their charges. (You can imagine how I rolled my eyes about that!)

I reached my turn-around spot at 2km into my run and headed back to my car with Jasmine still sitting contently in the stroller, presumably enjoying the landscape as it rolled past. When I came upon the daycare group this time they were stopped at another area where some water had created a muddy area near the paved path. A little freckled boy, maybe 6 years old, was at the front of the group crying loudly.

"The big kids are teasing me!" he sobbed. And the leader, already huffing and puffing though they had walked barely a kilometer, replied, "You're OK."

And I wished I had had the courage to stop beside that little boy, kneel beside him, take his hand, and say:

I'm so sorry to see that you aren't having a very good time today. It must be really hard to be with all these kids all day everyday for two weeks already, and I know you still have 8 more weeks of summer vacation to go. You probably didn't chose this daycare, or these daycare leaders or any of these kids as a way to spend your summer. It's not fair, is it? If I were you, I would cry too.

Talk about a total lack of control. I struggle with the concept of control. When I was a teacher I knew without question that maintaining control in my classroom was an absolutely essential part of my job. The children must be managed or nothing can be accomplished. Individual decision making is non-existent. And all of the routines for controlling students are so much a part of my habits that I have to try very hard not to control my children.

The phrase 'out of control' is always meant to be negative, but I have started to embrace it as something positive. If I consider my daughters to be 'out of control' what I really mean is that they are out of my control, but under their own control, which is so much better. The less I try to control my children, the fewer confrontations we have and the less struggle ensues. This has become the definition of authentic parenting for me. I follow their lead as much as possible, and when they need me to be the leader, I am.

Less struggle. More individual control.
Less fighting. More joy.

Why we don't have a cell phone

Last week Jasmine was sick. She had had a low grade fever for 3 days and then after she spent the night coughing, thrashing and crying, we decided to see the paediatrician. Since the doctor couldn't rule out pneumonia when she listened to Jasmine's chest, she suggested that we go to Sick Kids Hospital for a chest x-ray. Even though I tend to stay away from unnecessary medical interventions, we decided to go for the x-ray, particularly since Anna had had pneumonia as a two year old, so we worried that maybe our kids had a susceptibility to it.

Somehow all my stars aligned, and Partner-Guy was able to be off work to drop Jasmine and I off at the hospital while he took Anna and Holly to McDonald's for lunch. They took along Valentine cards and gel pens and were prepared to have a good time.

I expected to be at the hospital for 1 - 2 hours and so we arranged to meet at the entrance where he had dropped me off. Sure enough, one hour later Jasmine was out of the x-ray and we went to the Atrium to wait.

The Atrium at Sick Kids Hospital is at least 8 stories high and filled with plants sculptures and seating, not to mention a food court that would rival any mall I've visited. For a little while I nursed Jazzy and opened my eyes and ears and heart to observe the stories going on in the lives of the people in this place. I watched a handsome Somalian dad tenderly lift his twisted adolescent son out of a wheelchair and hold him on his lap, all the while stroking his hair and whispering in his ear. I watched a mom playing lap games with her one year old and then rock her to sleep in her arms. I watched as taxi after taxi dropped off families carrying balloons, suitcases and gifts.

After Jazzy finished nursing I put her in the carrier and decided to walk around a little while she fell asleep. I was not bored or annoyed by the wait and I enjoyed spending time with my baby, especially as I reflected on how fortunate I was to be taking my baby home in my arms, and not leaving her behind hooked up to tubes and monitors. I knew that if my child ever had to be hospitalized I could never leave her, and that putting my trust in a team of 'experts' would be the hardest test of my life.

When Partner-Guy pulled up to the entrance, Anna and Holly were in the backseat laughing and singing. They had had a great time at McDonald's; they had eaten their whole lunches and then written out Valentines for all of their princess and fairy dolls, to be delivered when they got home.

And here's why we don't have a cell phone. If I had called Partner-Guy to pick us up the minute the x-ray was over, the girls would have missed their chance to play together, their dad would have missed the opportunity to enjoy their company, all the people who smiled at Anna and Holly would have missed that second of joy that was brought to their lives, I would have missed a whole hour of cuddle time with Jasmine and I would have missed the chance to feel truly humbled by observing the father who was so tender in his care of his son.

I have been reflecting on how important it is to be in the moment with my children. To that end, I have stopped answering the phone when I am actively engaged with them in a story or craft or baking experiment. I only turn on the computer when Jasmine is asleep and when Anna and Holly are busy. It comes down to realizing that I am less important to other people than I am to my children.

(In conclusion, Jasmine does not have pneumonia, just bronchialitis, and it is clearing up. Also, getting a chest x-ray was a terrible experience that I will not soon repeat, I hope. Being in Sick Kids Hospital made me far more mindful of how I am incredibly grateful for the continued health and well-being of my daughters.)