What My 16-Month-Old Nursling Would Like To Say (If He Could Talk)

Mommymommymommymommymommy!

Oh, Mommy!
I just love your milk SO MUCH.  I love it sweet and I love it warm and I love it fast and I love it slow and I love it crying and I love it laughing.  I love it SO MUCH.

I love playing with Daddy.  And I love playing with my 3 big sisters.  And I love reading my books.  And I love playing with my toys.  But I LOVELOVELOVE drinking your milk, Mommy.

My FAVOURITE time for milk is about one hour after we get out of bed in the morning and the sun is up and calling me to play.  I love it after I empty all the pots and pans out of the drawer and after I dump all the potatoes and onions out of the cupboard, that is.  It really is the perfect time for milk because I just need a little break from being so busy!

And my next favourite time for milk is when you're getting something for my sisters to eat because I know you're really, really busy and it seems to me that YOU need to sit down and rest for a minute, Mommy!  I just KNOW how important it is for you to let me cuddle you so that feel all happy inside!

And my next FAVOURITE time for milk is when I start to feel tired, Mommy, because that's when I really, really need a cuddle and you are so warm and so soft and your milk is so sweet in my mouth and it makes my belly feel like it's full of sunshine when I fall asleep.  And isn't that great, Mommy?  Isn't it great how when I sleep your milk is alive inside of me like sunshine and I am growing and thriving and becoming all that I can be?

Mommy, Mommy!  Is it YOUR favourite time when I need your milk again when I wake up from my nap?  Don't you just LOVE to cuddle me when I'm so warm and sleepy and peaceful?  That's my favourite time, too.

And sometimes my favourite time for milk is when I get my hand caught in that huge pots-and-pans drawer, Mommy.  OUCH!  And sometimes my favourite time for milk is when I see you come back from going away for a little while with one of my sisters.  And sometimes my favourite time for milk is when you won't let me grab my sisters' toys and I try to tell you SO LOUD that I HAVE TO HAVE IT!!

I just really love your milk, Mommy.  And did I mention that I love your milk all night, too?  Not just in the day?  Did I almost forget to tell you that?  I'm so silly!

Yes, Mommy, I love your milk in the night, too.  I love it to make me all warm and droopy before I go to sleep at night.  And I love it again when you go to bed a few hours later.  And I love it again just before the sun rises.  I NEED your warm sunny milk inside of me to REMIND me that the sun is coming back in the morning!

I love your milk, Mommy.  And I love you.  And I love the sun.

Thanks, Mommy.  With all my heart.
Love, Julian

(I love you too, little one.)

Update: Treating Breastfeeding Problems at 10 Months

A couple of weeks ago Julian and I were having some breastfeeding problems.

1. He seemed disinterested in nursing.
2. My milk supply was dropping.
3. His little teeth seemed to be grinding on my like sandpaper.

I made an appointment at the Newman Breastfeeding Clinic & Institute.  It is run by Dr. Jack Newman, one of the world's greatest authorities on breastfeeding, consultant to La Leche League and author of many breastfeeding books.  Dr. Newman wasn't at the clinic that day but I was seen by two lactation consultants on his staff, the clinic director Edith Kernerman and a pediatrician, Dr. E. Weinberg.

Regarding the first problem--Julian's lack of interest in nursing--they recommended that I offer to nurse as often as I can and that I make it fun, easy and comfortable.  I was pretty much doing that already and that problem has taken care of itself.  In fact, Julian is asking to nurse now as often as he was a month ago, much to my relief.  Indeed, I am thrilled that he no longer appears to be trying to wean at all.

Regarding the second problem--dwindling milk supply--they recommended that I continue to drink the Nursing Tea and that I add some herbs:  Fenugreek and Blessed Thistle, 3 capsules of each, 3 times a day.  They also talked about my diet--which is already so healthy that they were pretty impressed!--and they suggested that my recent loss of milk may have been caused by simply not eating enough.  So I'll be upping the calories, I guess.

Regarding the third problem--unbelievably sore, torn nipples--they diagnosed yeast as the culprit. They recommended probiotics for Julian-- 2 times a day for 7 days, and for me--2 capsules 3 times a day for a month.  They also prescribed the Dr. Newman All Purpose Nipple Ointment (APNO) which has to be made a compounding pharmacy and contains an antifungal and an antibiotic.  It can also be used on Julian if I see signs of a yeast infection on his little bum.  Finally, they suggested drinking Grapefruit Seed Extract in water.

I was pretty surprised that they diagnosed yeast as the cause of my pain because I was so sure that the problem was Julian's latch.  On the other hand, I've had problems with yeast since I was in my early 20s (sigh--was that really 15 years ago?).  I asked the clinic director if it would be OK for me to work with my naturopath to do a detox and she said that a slow and gentle cleanse under the direction of my naturopath would be completely safe for both me and Julian.  This was very good news to me, since I've been eager to do a total body cleanse since I first started seeing Dr. Peter Klassen 2 years ago.

So I'm doing almost everything they recommended and I am seeing some improvement.  I still have to pick up the special ointment from the compounding pharmacy and I am getting a little impatient to get started using it.   Hopefully the pain and irritation are cleared up in a few more days.

Thankyou for the kind words of support from many of you who wrote comments or sent me an email of encouragement.  If you have a breastfeeding problem at any stage or age or nursing, please contact an expert and get help.

P.S.  To give probiotics to a baby, simply open the capsule and pour approximately 1/4 of the powder into the baby's mouth OR wet your finger and dip it into a little powder on the palm of your hand then let your baby suck it off.

Breastfeeding Problems at 10 Months

Something is going on with my little Julian.

Last week he developed a fever and started vomiting.  The vomiting lasted for only 12 hours but the fever dipped and spiked for 4 days.  He was not at all interested in solid food while he was sick and he nursed on demand, staying hydrated and sleeping fairly well.

As the fever passed he became interested in food again and in the last few days he seems to have lost interest in nursing.  Completely.

I am confused and scared about this new development.

When I offer to nurse him--usually when he is ready to nap--he will latch on, but only for a couple of swallows and then he throws back his head and starts to cry.  After I settle him he will try to nurse again, but it lasts for only a few (sad) seconds and then he sucks his thumb to fall asleep.

In the night he will seek me and want to nurse, but usually he is latched on for only a few swallows before choosing his thumb to fall asleep with again.

He also seems to have changed his latch:  He is not effectively using his tongue to cover his bottom teeth and make a good, deep latch.  The result is extraordinary pain for me as his top and bottom teeth grind and tear as he nurses.

And the final problem is that practically overnight I have totally lost my milk supply.  I'm stunned that in just a few days of nursing less my body has nearly turned off milk production.  Maybe my body is just telling me that it is worn out from producing milk for 80 of the past 85 months?

So there are actually 3 problems:

1. Julian doesn't seem interested in nursing.
2. When he does nurse, his latch is terrible.
3. My milk supply has dramatically decreased.

Not one to sit around in confusion, I am trying to work out some possible solutions.

Lack of Interest  I am continuing to nurse on demand for as long (or short) as Julian wants.  But whereas I used to be content to let him sooth himself with thumb first, I will now offer to nurse first in the hopes that he might want it.  And when he nurses for only a few swallow, I will smile my encouragement and make sure that he knows how much I enjoy nursing him and cuddling him.  In short, I will make nursing a more mindful activity and I will include more affection.

Pain due to Poor Latch  I have been primarily nursing in the side-lying position since Julian was born.  Since we don't go out much, this is pretty easy.  It also means that there are few distractions for him while nursing because I have usually taken him into the bedroom (away from his sisters).  Now, I am trying to nurse him every position:  cradle hold, football hold, sitting upright with him straddling my lap, and with him on his back and me above him.  By changing positions with every feeding I am not letting his little teeth gnaw on the same spot over and over and thus my body is able to heal a little bit between feedings.  Already, this has helped A LOT.

I have also considered that perhaps his poor latch is due to teething pain.  He already has 8 teeth, but he might be working on his 1-year molars so I am giving him Camilia, a homeopathic remedy for teething.  Not sure yet if this is working.

Sudden Reduced Milk Supply  When your baby is a newborn, the key to getting a good milk supply is to let the baby suckle at the breast often and long.  When the baby is 10 months old and seems to be loosing interest in breastfeeding, there are two solutions:  stimulate the breast by pumping or use an artificial augmentation.  Since I don't own a breast pump, I chose to start drinking Fenugreek Tea which I have used in the past to increase my milk supply.  So far, so good!  The Fenugreek Tea produces a more rapid letdown which gets Julian more interested in continuing to nurse. 

AND, as a final attempt to fix these problems, I have booked an appointment with Dr. Jack Newman.  Do you know of him?  He is a world-renowned breastfeeding expert and he has a clinic right here in Toronto just a few miles from my home.  I'll be sure to report back with his suggestions.

Are you asking yourself:  If her baby seems interested in weaning at 10 months, why is she trying so hard to keep him nursing?

1. Just as much as I believe in the value of child-led weaning, I believe in the value of extended breastfeeding.  I would like Julian to continue nursing for AT LEAST another year.  Not only will he benefit from the nutritional value of my milk, he will also benefit from the emotional closeness and soothing that comes from being a nursing toddler.
2. Round-the-clock nursing is the best and easiest way to delay the return of my fertility.  I'm not committing to no more babies, but I do feel a little bit saturated these days and I am not ready to add another baby to our family for a few years.
3. I've never nursed a toddler without also being pregnant, so I would love to have the opportunity to enjoy nursing Julian for as long as he wants without my brain thinking about a new little on the way. 
4. Breastfeeding is EASY.  For sleep, comfort, nutrition--it's all covered!  Liquid love!  The milk of my heart!  If Julian weans I will have to THINK so much more about how to meet his needs and show him my unconditional love.

When I talked to my mother about what is going on with Julian, I told her that if he weans right now I am going to need counselling because I will be SO SAD.  Let's hope it doesn't come to that! 

Maybe Julian and I are just going through a change.  And maybe I am strong enough to meet his needs and surround him with my love no matter what happens.

I Make Milk

Welcome to the February Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting Essentials
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have shared the parenting essentials that they could not live without. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
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I cannot imagine parenting without breastfeeding.

Before my first daughter was born I knew about attachment parenting.  I knew about Dr. Sears and La Leche League and nursing on demand and not letting the baby cry it out.  Anna was born in a hospital  with a midwife, without interference or interventions, and she was at my breast about 45 minutes after her birth.  She slept beside me all day and all night--every night-- and she nursed on demand and was a happy, thriving baby.

I thought that attachment parenting was all about breastfeeding on demand and not leaving my baby with other people.  I couldn't imagine doing it any other way.  I was giving her the food that nature intended, the elixir of health and happiness, the milk of my heart.  My body had nourished her for nine months on the inside and now it could nourish her beyond the womb. 

And it wasn't just that I was meeting her physical need for food.  If she cried, I nursed.  If she was tired, I nursed.  If she was overwhelmed, I nursed.  If she was sick, I nursed.  It was easy.  It was available.  My breasts had become synonymous with me.

More babies came.  I nursed some more.  I have nursed for 76 of the past 84 months.  I can't imagine being an attachment-parenting mom without the convenience of breastfeeding.  I feed my babies with liquid love.

As I grew and learned as a mother--as I RAISED MYSELF, (in the words of Naomi Aldort)--I began to reflect on what makes breastfeeding an aspect of attachment parenting.  What makes it more than just a free, healthy way to feed my babies?  And suddenly I came to the realization that of all the things I do that are natural, authentic and attachment oriented, breastfeeding is the one I could give up the easiest.

Really.

My son is 6 months old and if I suddenly found out that I could not breastfeed him anymore, I know we'd be OK.  Or if I have another baby and for some reason breastfeeding is impossible, I could still pursue the goals of attachment parenting.  Realizing this has released me of all the judgement and scorn that I have always felt for bottle-feeding mothers.  I can be an attachment-parenting mother without using my breasts.  Here's how I'd do it.

• Because I am a mindful mother, not wanting to harm my child in any way, I would try to source out as much breastmilk as possible from donors or by pumping.
• I would always hold my baby during feedings. 
• I would never give the baby to other people to hold and feed. (Just imagine if someone else held the baby while I was breastfeeding!  Unthinkable!)
• I would sleep next to the baby and I would offer milk or physical closeness whenever the baby woke in the night.
• I would look at and cuddle and caress and talk to my baby during every feeding.
• I would be patient with my baby's need to cry--especially since there would likely be increased crying without breastfeeding. 
• I would still practice all the other aspects of natural parenting that I embrace:  babywearing, cosleeping, non-violent communication, minimal periods of separation, and unschooling. 

I'm not saying I could mimic breastfeeding without breastfeeding.  I'm saying that I could still be a good mother without breastfeeding. 

But I still can't imagine parenting without breastfeeding.


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Visit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

• Not Without Him — The love Starr at Taking Time shares with her husband is the foundation of her parenting.
• I Cannot Imagine Parenting Without B(.)(.)bs — From an uneducated dreamer to a breastfeeding mother of a toddler, nursing has forever changed Kristy at Strings to Things's relationship with her daughter and her outlook on life.
• Raising a Child in the Internet Village — When Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction has a question or concern about parenting, she turns to the Internet. What did parents do before Google?
• Partner in Crime and Parenting — Bethy at Bounce Me to the Moon can't imagine parenting without her husband's sense of humor - he brings her laughter and love every day.)
• I Make Milk — Patti at Jazzy Mama can't imagine trying to mother her babies without her breasts, but she could do it if she had to.
• New Perspectives Bring New Beginnings — MJ at Wander Wonder Discover, who is a former authoritarian mamma, has gained perspective via parenting.
• Time Out! — Mrs. Green at Little Green Blog explores how time apart can increase your capacity to give unconditionally.
• Unimaginable Without Him — Kristina at heyred designs is celebrating her amazing partner, without whom none of her parenting experience would be possible.
• My Parenting Necessity — Claire at The Adventures of Lactating Girl needs "me time" in order to be the Mama she wants to be.
• Babywearing As a Way of Life — Darcel at The Mahogany Way talks about the benefits of babywearing in everyday life.
• Parenting Partnership — Sometimes Abbie at Farmer's Daughter doesn't appreciate her husband enough, but she definitely couldn't imagine parenting without his help.
• Parenting Essentials — Momma Jorje loves her parenting products, but she needs you even more.
• My Parenting Must-Have: Support — Joella at Fine and Fair wrote a letter to her daughter about the role that support from friends and family plays in her mothering.
• It's More Than Just Hair — Think doing hair is full of fluff? Too girly? Useless? Karli from Curly Hairdo Ideas used to think so too.
• The Minimalist Parent — The parents at Living Peacefully with Children embrace a minimalist perspective when it comes to baby gear. A good sling is all they need.
• Without My Breasts — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama can't imagine parenting without her breasts; here's why.
• Loves Books, Loves People — Seonaid at the Practical Dilettante discovers that the library is a perfect fit for her family's needs.
• An Ode to the Maya Wrap — RevMama's next child might be named Maya, because of her fondness for the sling.
• Avoiding the Padded Room — Pecky at Benny and Bex is here to testify that it takes a village to raise a child.
• My parenting essentials, from Tivo to battery-operated monstrosities — Lauren at Hobo Mama presents a list of parenting essentials you didn't even know you needed (and probably don't…).
• Attachment Parenting Through Separation: It Makes It a Little Better — Jessica at This Is Worthwhile talks about how she couldn't survive her separation without attachment parenting and the bond it's afforded her with her 3 year old son.
• Parenting Essentials — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now shares the principles she used to parent her children from infants to adults.
• My Parenting Essentials — The things that are truly essential to Kim at In Desperate Need of Entertainment aren't things at all.
• I'm No One Without My Sling — How baby carrying is essential to the parenting of Jessica Claire at Crunchy-Chewy Mama.
• I Cannot Imagine Parenting Without... — Isil at Smiling Like Sunshine talks about what she needs to raise her children.
• February Carnival of Natural Parenting — Through her experiences over the last five and a half years, Casey at Love What Is has discovered her most important tool for parenting is using her instincts.
• CNP: I Cannot Imagine Parenting Without __________. — The Artsymama discloses the one thing that gave her back control of herself as a parent.
• Laugh Until I Cry — Laughing with her sons keeps Acacia at Fingerpaint & Superheroes connected and grounded.
• I Cannot Imagine Parenting Without — Luschka at Diary of a First Child realizes what the one thing she can't imagine parenting without is, and it turns out it's not a thing after all.
• It Takes Two — Here are a few of the reasons why Jenn at Adventures Down Under cannot imagine parenting without her fabulous husband.
• Stopping to Listen — Though it wasn't easy at first, Knocked Up - Knocked Over cannot imagine parenting her daughter without listening first to what she is telling her.
• The Essence of Parenting — There are many wonderful resources that make life easier for Michelle at the Parent Vortex to parent, but the essence is the relationship between parent and child.
• What I Cannot Live Without — Sybil at Musings of a Milk Maker considers her computer to be a parenting lifeline.
• True Blessings: White Noise and Grandparents — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment can't live without her white noise machine and the support of her parents.
• The Necessities! — What "stuff" does a natural parent like Lily, aka Witch Mom really need? Not much, it turns out.
• Mama Showed Me — Mama Mo at Attached at the Nip writes about how parenting wisdom is passed on by example.
• Ode to the Loo — For Joni Rae at Tales of a Kitchen Witch, the bathroom is her safe place, where she can take a minute to calm down if she is feeling touched out.
• Go, Mama. Go! — Andrea!!! at Ella-Bean & Co. has been able to integrate her many roles through her get-up-and-go parenting essential, exercise!
• My Other Half — Becky at Old New Legacy realizes what a relief it is to have her husband parent alongside her.
• Grace, Love, and Coffee — MrsH at Fleeting Moments realizes that lifelines can take the form of the profound, or the mundane. Both are ok.
• Supportive Spouse, Check! — There are so many parenting tools and gadgets that are superfluous, but the one essential, for Danielle at born.in.japan, has been her supportive spouse.
• Why I'm a Babywearer — Meredith at Becoming Mamas reflects on the ways babywearing has enhanced her mama baby relationship...and made life easier to boot.
• It's Marvelous Out Here, Kiddo! — Rachael at The Variegated Life can't imagine parenting in the big city without the marvels of Prospect Park to share with her Critter.
• Yes, Thank You — Amy at Anktangle offers tips on how to ask for and accept help, an essential for successful parenting.
• Parenting Essentials Checklist: Mom’s Inner Rebel and Her Kids’ Voices — Olivia at Write About Birth reflects on raising global citizens and saying no to societal norms.
• Eco-Mama Online! — An Eco-Mama living in the mountains of a nature island, Terri at Child of the Nature Isle finds it essential to connect to nature and to connect online.
• Sorry, We Just Sold the Last One — Nev at The Adventures of Lime confesses she missed out the day they handed out patience.
• Laugh — Tashmica at The Mother Flippin' Blog reveals her super power, her talisman agains mean mommy.
• My Priceless Parenting Resource — What do books, a magazine community, my mother and the local playgroup have in common? Lucy at Dreaming Aloud tells us...
  
• The Gift of Shared Time — Tree at Mom Grooves strives to experience the world from her daughter's perspective.
• Follow the Giggles — Dionna at Code Name: Mama can’t live without the sound of her child’s giggles - come watch her video and you’ll agree!
• Can I Mommy Without Boob? — Emily at Crunchy(ish) Mama shares her fears about weaning and losing part of that the mother/child bond.

The Good Stuff

Warning: Photo contains minor, non-gratuitous nudity.

Julian was weighed on his 3-week birthday. He gained more than a pound and a half and had reached 11lbs 13oz, up from his birth weight of 10lbs 2oz. One could surmise that his diet of exclusive breastmilk is meeting his needs.

And that's why I was completely furious and confused when a big can of infant formula arrived in my mailbox on the same day. It had just a clear, plastic shrink wrap and it was addressed to me with a return address for Mead-Johnson in Etobicoke. Imagine: the mailman carried this big UNCONCEALED can of formula with MY NAME ON IT all the way down the street for anyone to see!

Somehow Mead-Johnson had acquired my name, address and private reproductive information (i.e. my due date) and apparently the law allows them to use that information to market their product. I get it that in rare circumstances a woman is unable to breastfeed and must resort to formula-feeding her baby, but that is not how formula is actually used in this country. The fact that less than 20% of mothers are exclusively breastfeeding at 6 months tells the story of how formula is the preferred and more-accepted way to feed babies in our culture.

For me, the formula was garbage and it disappeared on the solid waste truck this week. At three weeks post-partum I was not in the least vulnerable to using formula. My baby was nursing contentedly 12-20 times per day. My milk was plentiful. I wasn't sleep deprived (a term mothers use to describe the difference between the way they WANT to sleep versus the way the baby ACTUALLY sleeps). And I had all the support I needed: my partner is pro-breastfeeding, my mother breastfed me until I was 3 years old and I'm not really looking for outside approval anyway.

But consider the new mother who is still struggling with breastfeeding at 3 weeks. Her baby is gaining weight slowly. He breasts are sore and her nipples are cracked. She thinks she can't function because her baby wakes up to nurse every three hours and the mother hasn't learned how to nurse lying down or how to fall asleep with the baby still suckling. And worst of all, the poor mother's mother-in-law calls her every day to tell her that SHE gave formula to HER babies and they all turned out fine. Then a can of formula arrives in the mail. I guarantee that mother opens it and feeds it to her baby.

So with all this anger in my head, I immediately phoned Mead-Johnson and asked (demanded) to speak to the person responsible for sending out free samples. A very young-sounding woman came on the line and I explained that I was furious that Mead-Johnson was marketing to me, and that I strongly resent that the law permits them to obtain person information about me and then send me a product that is dangerous to the health and welfare of my baby. I requested that I be removed immediately from their database and I told them that I would be sending a letter to Stephen Harper to request that a law be put in place to prevent formula companies from marketing directly to new mothers. The woman had no comment, did as I requested and hung up.

Next phone call. I looked online for a phone number for WestList, the company which had apparently (according to the woman at Mead Johnson) sold my personal information. I left a message at a 1-800 number, and my call was returned by a T Weston, calling from a 905 number. He told me that WestList was a broker of names and Mead Johnson was their client. He made a big point of telling me that Mead Johnson did not break any laws by obtaining my personal information (including my due date) and by sending me the formula. I insisted that my name be deleted from the WestList database as well.

So what a hassle!! Maybe a well-meaning friend or relative signed me up to receive free stuff for new parents, since I certainly didn't sign up for anything. The guy at WestList said that they obtain names from all types of registries--even daycare waiting lists!--and that it would be impossible to track that information. Good grief. That'll be a lesson to me to NEVER fill out any form without asking if my name is going to be sold.

But just look at the photos of our little Julian! Isn't he fabulous? We are enjoying him so much and I am so grateful that he joined our family. We'll be taking a family photo for his one-month birthday and I will post it as soon as I can.

All photo credits for Julian go to my friend Julie Jay.

And then my stars aligned....

The Universe has thrown me a smile this week.

Out of the blue, a woman phoned me yesterday, having found my name on the La Leche League website. I'm not sure how she chose me out of 50 or 60 other women who represent the organization in Toronto. She said that she was from a company which represents large corporate clients and provides learning sessions for their employees. She went on to explain that at an upcoming session they would be exploring 'the nurturing and protection of human life' and would I be able to speak for 20-30 minutes about the role of breastfeeding as a form of nurturing. Would I?

This is a huge opportunity for me. So exciting!! I get to talk about mothering. I get to talk about how the natural biology of breastfeeding is best for the social, emotional and physical development of human infants. I get to talk about how, in a formula-feeding culture, there is a better way, a higher standard, an enlightened approach to raising our children.

It's funny that for the last several months I have been complaining about how I feel so limited by the LLL organization. I often feel like I can only talk about breastfeeding in the sense of 'how to', rather than talk to mothers about tapping into their instincts and teaching them how to be empathic parents. And now because of my involvement with LLL, I will have the opportunity to take the conversation to the next level and really explain the importance of trust and attachment in our relationships with our children.

So for the next couple weeks I will be using my blog to create my presentation. I already have a general outline in my mind, but I will have to wait to find out a few key details about the who will be in the audience. In particular, I am aware that the subject of breastfeeding is highly emotionally charged--there are likely to be women in the audience who chose to formula-feed, or who were told that they 'couldn't' breastfeed, or who even tried to breastfeed but were not successful. I don't want to raise their ire, but I also don't want to downplay how important breastfeeding is, not just as a way to nourish a baby, but as a fundamental part of the relationship between mother and baby.

I also have to add how excited I am that I am going to be paid for my presentation. Yippee!! This is exactly what I want to pursue as a new career: parenting coach. Imagine being paid to teach people how to be better attached to their kids. It could be the start of a revolution in parenting......

Imitation is the Highest Form of Flattery

Last night after the bath I helped Anna and Holly into their pajamas and sent them to wait for me in the bed while I got Jasmine into a diaper. When I came in they were both laying down, shirts up, nursing their babies. In fact, they were both on their left sides, exactly how I always lay with Jasmine when I put her to sleep at night.

This is not the first time that either of them has pretended to nurse their babies, but the timing and the way they were doing it together made it so special. I said, "Oh you beautiful girls. You make my heart sing." And Holly said, "I have lots of babies, so I know how to feed them myself. You don't have to help me."

Holly's declaration was in response to a call I had received right after supper from a mommy of a 2 1/2 week old baby who wasn't sure if she had an adequate milk supply. As a La Leche League Leader, I get 1-2 calls per week from mothers looking for support. They get my name and number from the LLLC website. Each time someone calls for breastfeeding support I tell the girls "Please be patient for a few minutes while I help a mommy learn how to feed her baby." (Sometimes they are not able to be patient and I have to phone the mommy back in a little while.)

I bring the girls to our monthly La Leche League meetings, so they are not only used to seeing me help other mommies, they are also used to seeing babies of all sizes being breastfed. Last night the 'babies' the girls chose to breastfeed were not even newborn-looking dolls: Anna was nursing a Disney princess doll and Holly was nursing Dora the Explorer.

I have been leading meetings and helping mommies by phone since 2006. I don't always feel completely aligned with the philosophies of the LLL organization, but I really enjoy the mommy-to-mommy support. The teacher in me needs to teach, and I feel privileged to be helping the next generation of Canadians grow up healthier by virtue of having been breastfed. I wish I could do more teaching about parenting skills at the meetings but that is more outside the scope of the organization. Perhaps someday I will be able to attain some type of certification as a parenting coach and use my skills to make some money while helping parents. Not too sure about that........but I do know that I am good at teaching, so maybe I am tapping into my authentic self when I am educating other mommies on how to make breastfeeding part of their parenting style, and not just a feeding choice.

What really thrills me about my children attending LLL meetings is that they will grow up with the attitude that breastfeeding is the normal way to feed babies. For them it will not be a choice, it will be a given. I credit my own mother with raising me to see breastfeeding as normal, as she was breastfeeding her babies during an era when most doctors knew nothing of the benefits of breast milk. In fact, when her first baby was off the chart for his rapid growth by 4 months old, the doctor told he couldn't possibly be getting enough breast milk and she should start him on cereal. Then her next baby was petite and slower to gain weight, so the same doctor told her that the baby couldn't possibly be getting enough breastmilk and she should start her on cereal. Brilliant man. What a thinker.

By the time I was born my mom had found La Leche League and she was able to nurse me until past my third birthday, and my younger brother was nursed at least as long. Most of the women I meet who are of my generation were not breastfed at all, and I often wonder if their stories of infertility and difficult pregnancies and births are a result of missing out on the oh-so-important benefits of human milk. So I credit my mother for not just helping to normalize breastfeeding in a formula feeding culture, but also for laying the foundation of my excellent overall health, outstanding fertility, healthy pregnancies and births and ease of weight loss after pregnancy, not to mention making me the confident, joyful mother that I am today!!

Since today just happens to be my mother's birthday, I send her the biggest THANKYOU for her courage to defy the medical establishment of the day by following her heart and practising extended breastfeeding and for pretty much being the strongest woman I know. Thanks, Mom. I love you.