This post was written for inclusion in the Carnival of Birth Reflections hosted by Patti at Jazzy Mama and Zoie at TouchstoneZ. Participants are writing posts that reflect on how birth has transformed them into who they are today. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
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My daughter Anna was born naturally, in hospital, attended by two midwives on April 30, 2004.
My daughter Holly was born naturally, in hospital following an abandoned homebirth, attended by a midwife and an OB on December 31, 2005.
My daughter Jasmine was born naturally, at home, attended by two midwives on January 8, 2008.
Her birth changed who I am.
Labour and Birth
I was 4 days past my due date when I started to feel pressure in my lower back and pelvis. Around 5pm I phoned my mother to come to be with my older daughters (ages 3.5 years and 2 years), in case a transfer to hospital was necessary.
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| Jasmine emerges into my midwife's hands. |
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| Partner-Guy's hand on the midwife's hand on my hand on a very purple Jasmine. |
I laid down with my 2-year-old daughter Holly and she went right to sleep. Then I put on my shoes and coat and went out for a walk. It was a surprisingly mild evening, considering it was early January! After 30 minutes I came back to put my 3 1/2 -year-old daughter Anna to bed. Then Partner-Guy and I walked around the block until 9pm. I was totally in sync--body, mind and spirit. I knew I needed to rest and focus because there was hard work ahead.
I was extremely uncomfortable with my parents being in my home while I laboured, but I tried to push those feelings out of my mind. I went to my bedroom and sat on a big exercise ball as my contractions increased in duration and intensity. At 10pm Partner-Guy phoned the midwife and asked her to return. He also called my friend Julie who had agreed to photograph the birth.
On her first examination, the midwife determined that I was at 6cm. I felt GREAT knowing that I was progressing so well. I pictured myself climbing a mountain, gazing at the summit and continuing to put one foot in front of the other. The pain in my lower back was considerable and I knew that the baby's head was pressing on my spine. I stood and swayed my hips like a belly dancer for the next hour, resting my head on Partner-Guy's shoulder between contractions.
At 11:15pm I sat on the edge of the bed and rested. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. I stopped moaning and sighing and was silent. I pictured my baby emerging from my body.
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| Joy! A girl! |
No crying.
Jasmine was born asleep. She was quite purple but breathing and strong. Quickly someone covered her with a blanket and put a hat on her head. I began to laugh. Minor chaos ensued as everyone tried to figure out what to do about the wet bedding and mattress. I just held my sleeping baby and enjoyed all the wonderful hormones of ecstacy. Wow, what a high!
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| Jasmine, asleep for 45 minutes after her birth. |
About 45 minutes after her birth, Jasmine opened her eyes for the first time. I nursed her and around that time Anna and Holly (who had awakened when the midwives arrived) wanted to come in. They ignored the baby and laid down on the bed to go to sleep.
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| Still sleeping and not ready to nurse. |
The midwives went home, my parents went home, my photographer went home. I laid down beside my three daughters on my bed and went to sleep. I was forever changed.
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| She opens her eyes for the first time! |
I Have the Power
I didn't know about The Secret and The Law of Attraction when Jasmine was born. But in hindsight, I was using The Secret to have a successful birth.
For the birth of my second daughter, I had planned a homebirth, but I could not picture it. I couldn't imagine what position I would birth in. I couldn't imagine what would be on my bed. I couldn't imagine where the midwife would stand or where Partner-Guy would stand. I couldn't imagine where the mess would go. I couldn't imagine where the midwife would put her equipment.
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| Nursing for the first time. |
I couldn't picture the birth because I was totally focussed on the room and everyone in it. I had completely forgotten to picture myself giving birth. Crazy, eh? I had no confidence in myself and my own body, but I had felt pretty confident that my midwife would handle the birth. Then, when an alternate midwife answered my call that night, I was shattered. My planned homebirth was thrown out the window, I called an ambulance in a panic and my 2nd daughter was born just 5 minutes after arriving at the hospital.
So with my 3rd birth, I took control. I knew what I wanted, I pictured it, I willed it to happen. Then I surrendered to my body and I let it happen. I surrendered to the power and The Power became me.
I'm not a hocus-pocus kind of girl. I'm sensible and honest and smart. But I have to say that Jasmine's birth transformed me into a person who believes in my own power to transform any aspect of my life.
I used to be so, so so negative. I believed that life was just meant to be hard for me. I believed that no matter what I did, it would turn out to be the wrong thing. I believed that I didn't deserve to have good things happen to me.
It was something about Jasmine's birth that made me decide that I had to take control of my own destiny, create my own joy and find my own power. And I did it.
I didn't discover The Secret until this year, but I've been doing it for the last 3 1/2 years and I can say that it works. I have opened my life to love, happiness and circumstances that I would never have imagined were possible before Jasmine's birth transformed me into a woman who can change her own life.
In fact, all of you, my dear friends and followers, have joined my life through my desire for a community of mindful mothers. Much love to each of you who has touched my heart and let me into your life via your computer screen.
We all have the power to create whatever we want and I offer to you my desire that all your dreams come true.
Have you tapped into your Power yet?
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| A happy daddy! |
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Visit Jazzy MamaTouchstoneZ to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Birth Reflections!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
- In the Middle - A Progression Through Four Birth Experiences Amy at Peace 4 Parents shares her birth experiences and the central focus that holds them together.
- A Birth Story-The Post Where I Finally Let Go Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama finally frees herself of all of the negativity she held onto regarding the way in which her daughter came earthside.
- From Hospital to Home Birth Kerry at City Kids Homeschooling explains how it took three pregnancies to realize that birth is a natural, empowering life event to be celebrated at home.
- Preparing for Joyful Birth-Making Peace with my Soul Shana at Tales of Minor Interest prepares to birth her second child with joy after a traumatic first birth experience.
- Reflections Rosemary at Rosmarinus Officinalis reflects on the planned cesarean birth of her breech daughter.
- The Top Five Utterances of my HBAC Leah @ Zen and the Art of Cloth Diaper Maintenance comments on how an HBAC brings many new expierences and phrases.
- Labor Phases: Latent, Sleep, Transitional, Hell CatholicMommy shares the surprises of her birth story.
- The Birth of My first Child - Our Miracle Baby Darcel @ The Mahogany Way Birth Cafe shares her story of the traumatic birth of her first child. Darcel still feels guilt over the birth and is looking for ways to heal.
- My Thoughts on Birth: 10 Months Later Adrienne at Mommying My Way compares how she feels about her son's birth now that he's ten months old with how she felt right after he was born, and how that impacts how she relates to other new moms.
- Jasmine's Birth, My Rebirth Patti at Jazzy Mama discovered that the birth of her third daughter would change her entire view of her Life.
- Birth Reflection: It Only Takes A Second Zoie at TouchstoneZ reflects on her third homebirth-the birth of her second living child
