Either Blogger or Feedburner has been randomly sending out some of my old posts. I am not trying to be a self-promoting megalomaniac (at least, not this time) and I apologize for filling your inbox inadvertently. Hopefully the problem is now fixed.
I've had a 3rd phone call with Tara from The Organic Sister. She's my life coach and I couldn't be more pleased with her help and direction.
This turned out to be a particularly difficult phone call--not because of the subject matter but because I was unable to fully focus on what Tara was saying because both Julian and Jasmine were demanding my attention. Usually I have been able to keep them occupied in the bath with their dad during my conversations with Tara, but this time Jasmine was feeling sick and needed her mommy and Julian followed her lead. I cut the conversation short but at least Tara was able to give me some things to think about.
I've been working through her e-book "Digging Deep" (you can check my side bar for an affiliate link to purchase it). I wanted to talk about some of my negative core beliefs and what is the story behind them. One of the core beliefs I hold is that I am alone because I have chosen a parenting path that is apart from the mainstream.
Tara challenged me to examine why I think I am alone. She pointed out that there are lots of parents who have embraced unschooling and natural parenting so the truth is not that I am alone, but only that I am living in isolation from other parents who share my values and that it has been my choice to do so. Tara suggested that there was probably a deeper core belief behind the victim statement I am alone.
She was right.
As I continued to dig deeper I ran into other negative core beliefs that were propping up my belief that I was alone.
I am unlovable.
I always do the wrong thing.
Life is supposed to be hard for me.
The e-book has a whole chapter on how to reframe negative core beliefs and how to create positive affirmations. This has helped me a lot.
I am unlovable becomes I am able to accept many different expressions of love from different people.
I always do the wrong thing becomes I know how to choose Freedom and Joy in my relationships and in my work.
Life is supposed to be hard for me becomes I live authentically for myself.
Tara also challenged me to really LISTEN to my children and my partner as they express their needs, to stop filtering their needs through my own negative core beliefs and to give myself more freely to them. What suddenly awakened in me with this challenge was the awareness that I had been treating my family in ways that I did not feel on the inside. For example, Partner-Guy phoned me from work one day this week and I was genuinely thrilled to hear from him (since he hardly ever calls me) but instead of listening to him and reflecting my pleasure at how he had thought of me, I was grumpy and complaining. Why would I do that? What was holding me back from responding to him with the Joy and Affection that I was feeling?
In the e-book Tara suggests practicing Positive Affirmations verbally, visually, audibly and emotionally. I have been repeating my affirmations to myself at night in bed also aloud throughout the day whenever a situation demanding my patience or attention arises. I am learning how to take care of myself and make sure my own needs are met. I am practicing loving my children more wholly. I am listening without judgement. I am re-evaluating my perceptions and interpretations of events.
I am digging deep. And I am liking what I am finding.
How about you? Are you ready to Dig Deep?