Friday, October 7, 2011

When

When a beautiful almost-4-year-old girl cries in my arms for an hour, her knees aching with growing pains and my ears absorbing the siren of her wails, reverberating in my head and making my eyes throb....

When a curious baby who is so busy during the day that he forgets to eat, yet at night he demands much milk to fill his cavernous need for calories, so he nurses and nurses until I swear my nipples will disintegrate....

When a self-confident 7-and-a-half-year-old refuses to wear the fabulous (expensive) leather running shoes she's been given and instead chooses the (cheap) canvas ones that she can't tie but requires that her mother de-tangle the knots and I want to roll my eyes but I don't....

When a growing almost-6-year-old wants pancakes for breakfast and fresh muffins for lunch and pasta with parmesan for supper and I despair of her ever eating anything green or red or orange again and I am convinced that she thinks I'm running a restaurant....

When the father of this operation picks a rainy Sunday afternoon to drive for 5 minutes to run a 5km race in the muddy valley and he's gone for over 4 hours and by the time he comes home sporting a medal for his 18-minute accomplishment I am tired and lonely and feeling anything but congratulatory....

....it is in these moments that I breathe deeply, relax my shoulders and put a smile on my face.  I remind myself that I chose this life, that these 5 people are the reason for my joy, and that these moments are all I have so I might as well love them.

5 comments:

  1. Your posts always make me cry! In a good way. Whenever I complain about anything having to do with staying home with the kids, Big T reminds me that I chose that.

    And it's true. And it's better than any other life I could ever imagine (or anyone else's.) Everything really is perfect in its way. It's so important to remember that.

    This post was beautiful.

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  2. I love this. Beautiful writing! Such a candid and true reminder that no matter how hard it gets, yes, we did make this choice. And like you, I'd choose it over and over again!

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  3. Very nicely put, Patti. Yes, I often remind myself that I chose this life with my three beautiful babies and that I am so blessed -- even when...

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  4. Whew! This makes me feel a little brighter. It's lovely to hear your beautiful words to remind me that it is always a choice, isn't it? We can choose to be grumpy about those things or we can remember what we love.

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