Friday, August 19, 2011

I Know What You're Doing for "Back-to-School" (that I'm not doing)

Just two more weeks of summer!  Yup!  And I know just what you're up to....

1.  You're shopping.
Isn't it amazing how the pencils that your child hasn't picked up in two months are now not appropriate for use and have to be replaced?  And the backpack that's been sitting in the closet since June is totally unacceptable, isn't it?  You'll be buying another one.  And obviously you're replacing all your plastic containers for sending lunches because your child will probably never eat the carrot sticks that you pack in them anyway.

But most importantly, you're buying clothes, right?  Someday I'll have to wrap my head around the way that all the kids here in Southern Ontario (where the weather is more or less the same in June as it is in September) need all their clothes replaced before they can head off to school.  Do school kids save all their growing for July and August?  They must, otherwise why would they all need new clothes and shoes after just two months?  Lucky for me that my kids still fit into the clothes they were wearing at the beginning of the summer.  I'm saving a lot of money!

2.  You're worrying.
You're worrying about whether that bully from last  year will be in your child's class again this year.  You're worrying that your child is not keeping up with her peers academically and the school is going to ask you to put her in a Special Education class.  You're worried that your child's teacher won't get along with him.  You're worried that your child won't make any friends.  You're worried that the new principal is a control freak and will limit the influence of the parent council.  You're worried that your child's new clothes aren't as expensive as what the other kids will have.  You're worried that the teacher is going to ask you to volunteer in your child's classroom when you just don't have time.  You're worried that your child is experiencing anxiety about the start of school.  Yup, you're worrying.

Want to know what I'm worrying about?  I'm worrying that the raccoons are going to eat the tomatoes in my garden before I get a chance to pick them.

3.  You're getting back into the 'routine'.
You're getting the kids to bed earlier and earlier and getting them up in the morning earlier and earlier because you MUST be ready to tackle that routine by the time school starts. 

And it makes sense, you know, because if you knew that you were going to jail in two weeks you would DEFINITELY spend your last two weeks of freedom PRACTICING how to be in jail.  Any reasonable person would want to be prepared.  Of course.

We have a routine, too.  After supper we ride our bikes until the street lights come on and then we come in the house and eat Ontario-grown watermelon and homemade bread with fresh homemade Ontario-peach jam.  We hit the pillows around 10:30 pm and the kids wake up at 9am.  Gawd, it's a rough routine, I tell ya!

4.  You're reminding everyone that time is running out.
You're cramming in those trips to the zoo and the beach and to Grandma's house that you've been trying to get to all summer.  You're telling the kids to 'enjoy their freedom' because it's going to end soon.  You're turning off the TV and sending everyone to bed.  You're putting the kids on their bicycles and sending them out to ride because YOU KNOW that they won't be getting much exercise once school starts.

My time is running out too:  I haven't put in nearly enough hours laying on the beach.  I have GOT to get some more time in the sand before the snow falls.  Maybe I'll drag the kids down to the waterfront tomorrow....if they aren't too busy chasing the chickens and racing their bicycles.

5.  You're counting down the days.
Sing it with me, friends:  It's the most wonderful time of the year.....That's right, just 17 more days of having to deal with your children 7 days a week.  It's OK.  You can admit it.  You are so RELIEVED to get the kids out of the house to school!  You are so tired of the fighting and the whining and the cleaning up and the fighting and the whining and the cleaning up!  It is just so. much. easier. when someone else can entertain the kids all day.  After all, those teachers better earn their pay cheques!

I'm counting down the days too!  I'm practically GIDDY thinking about all the places my children and I can enjoy now that everybody else's kids will be back in school in just 17 days!  Toronto Zoo, here we come!

Did I forget anything?  Is there anything else you're doing (or NOT doing) before Labour Day?


  1. Now now, don't be mean. :-) To be fair, lots of "mainstream" parents aren't like that. I don't know about the worrying part, but my mom shopped only for what was being held together with tape by the end of the previous year (clothes includes sometimes!), didn't start early bedtimes until the night before school, did fun stuff with us year-round, and hates that song to this day. :-) As for what we're doing... I'm a full-time mommy and Peter is one year old. Maybe we'll see you at the beach. :-) (How far can you swim...?) I totally want to make this trip happen!

  2. I loved this! I've been talking with Liliana about how she is going to go to school with mommy at home. She keeps hearing everyone talking about "school" and seeing schools when we are out and is just now becoming curious. So I've been excited to inform her all about how we are NOT going to be going to school and how awesome that is! I love that our summer "vacations" can be as long as we want them to be :)